Michelle James' Writes Of Passage

....her life experiences, thoughts & feelings expressed in writing....

Poems: Love & Romance

 


R
emembering the very first time that we met,
Our encounter was one I would never forget,
Giving and getting both our numbers and names,
Elated was I, I would try a few games,
Repenting at leisure was one of my aims.

Dare I say more, the calls were a pleasure
And you were at most, a valuable treasure.
Victim I was in the web I had spun,
Engaged in a friendship which we had begun.
Now and then, a mild disagreement arose;
Petty and silly conversations in prose
On topics so delicate, interesting, profound,
Rapt with attention, you had me spell-bound,
Till I finally placed both my feet on the ground.

Somehow I found the attraction intense;
Inner feelings I had began to condense,
Mixed emotions denied, determined to go
On a mission of love, with you, that would grow.
Never, thought I, would we ever let go...but we did...

         ~© 1986 Michelle Antoinette James~
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C
aught by surprise by your email response-

Of an interest expressed from a dating site for romance.

Nonstop communication both by computer and phone,

Relentlessly writing for months, the pages had grown-

And led to a deep connection which I came to treasure.

Doubting nothing, I pursued the affair with great pleasure.

 

Although there were differences, and disagreements arose,

Nevertheless, why I was intrigued by you, who really knows?

Tempting it was to see just how much we both knew,

Heart, mind and soul meshed into a friendship that grew.

One day at a time was the decision we made,

Nothing permanent or long-term, no strings attached, you had said.

Yet deep in my heart I hope that this would not fade.

 

Truth and Trust were eventually put to the test,

And our faith in each other was consequently laid to rest.

Resentment and hurt both tugged at the heart,

Too late it would be to recover, resume or restart.
Exiting gracefully was the only option to part…or was it?

         ~©2007 Michelle Antoinette James ~
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Why is it that with you, I do the things I do?

Sending emails, whether read or not, I haven’t the foggiest clue!

Unconditionally sharing articles, thoughts and occasional dreams,

No responses, simply silences, not an interest there it seems.

 

It’s been over a year and a half that I’ve done this selfless act.

No underlying motive here, just a heart that cared enough to react.

But time itself has proven that your feelings were not the same;

You obviously desired fun and thrills in playing the dating game.

 

I’m no longer interested in being in a sacrificial lamb role,

And though I’m considered a sweet and generous yet sensitive soul,

Competing with the affections of others is simply not my goal.

I want someone who’s willing to give, not just a part, but a complete whole.

 

It’s not a mystery or a question; I’ve been quite direct and true,

It’s been laid out on the table, the way I’ve felt about you.

Surely I’m not the first to express such thoughts as these,

You no doubt have several women with whom you fondly tease.

 

It’s not my style to chase a man, that’s not my cup of tea;

And so, with tail between my legs, I opt to bow out gracefully.

I admit defeat to those ladies who are top notch on your list.
I wish you well in your selection; dear, just know you will be missed.

                   ~©2005 Michelle Antoinette James ~
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Look, you’ve heard it all before,

Of that I’m undoubtedly sure;

From women who’ve bowed in your presence,

Who’ve given up their very essence,

To win your love, to gain your favor;

That very essence which you hungrily savor.

Without a thought, without feeling or shame,

Indulging in one night stands, or simply playing your game.

 

Now then, why had I unwittingly allowed-

Myself to become involved? I had seriously vowed-

Never to become entangled with a womanizer, a cad,

Who’d physically use and emotionally abuse every woman he’s had; it’s sad.

It’s said that love is blind, possibly dumb as well;

I know- it’s left me puzzled, confused and numb- I can tell.

You’ve turned my life upside down, on levels high and low;

And touched my heart in places that you could never ever know.

 

Yes, I’d rather have risked loving and losing you

Than never to have loved you at all, that’s true. 

I’ve learned that love’s unconditional,

And that it doesn’t have to be reciprocal.

Just know that I am who I have been, right from the very start,
And that I will always cherish you deep within my heart.

        ~©2006 Michelle Antoinette James ~
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You’re a tough shell to crack, so difficult to know;
Sometimes you’re approachable, sometimes you lay low.
You baffle me, daily, with your ever-changing mood;
Sometimes you can be so sweet, and at other times, so rude.

 

You are certainly a challenge because, as this woman knows,

You can either share what you want or can hide in the shadows.

You can be quite distant by choice, or appear spontaneously at will;

I suppose it’s your personal lifestyle, living each day as a thrill.

 

This world is your playground, you’ve said that, but still-

Does this mean I’m just a toy who you’ll use at your will?

You seem to forget that I’m a human with feelings-

Who doesn’t take lightly to heart wheeling and dealings.

 

I’ve chosen to live by this simple rule, as you too should:

“Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” for the greater good.

If you refuse, however, to accept and respect me in kind,
Then my friend, my dearest, it’s time I left you behind.

         ~©2007 Michelle Antoinette James ~
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You’re clothed in mystery, suspense and intrigue,

I sometimes think I’m way out of your league.

As steps, that I have taken to know you, falter,

I’ve noticed that you, by choice, refuse to alter-

Any actions or attitudes displayed in arrogance;

On every level I face total resistance.

 

It’s either your way, or your law of life, that one should follow.

Your opinions and advice you’d insist one should swallow.

If one doesn’t meet your high standard of excellence,

Then that one is counseled and served a dismissive sentence.

 

I’ve extended my friendship to you by emailing and calling,

But your conduct toward me is nothing short of appalling.

As now I sit back, reflect and curiously wonder-

About questions and thoughts, I engagingly ponder.

 

Seeking explanations for your puzzling behavior,

I’ve come to realize that perhaps you may need a Savior;

Someone to rescue you from your imprisoned soul,

Someone who could break the chains and make you whole.

 

It just simply goes to show that I may never be able,
To meet you halfway, should we ever seat ourselves at a table.

              ~©2006 Michelle Antoinette James ~
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I loved a man I did not know,

A man who’d never let his feelings show.

Attracted I was to his wit and his charm,

And his fun sense of humor, I found was so warm.

 

I felt drawn to him, I felt a special connection.

It was impossible for me to withhold my affection-

For he had captured my heart and my soul.

Friendship with him was really my goal.

 

We’d share our ideas and interact with such ease,

Sometimes we’d be serious and sometimes we’d tease.

Hours were spent chatting by email and phone,

But eventually the relationship took on a new tone.

 

He began to withdraw, enveloped in silence;

I couldn’t understand why, it just didn’t make sense!

And when I’d approach him, seeking an answer,

He’d tiptoe around it like a professional ballet dancer.

 

I had given so much; yes I had fallen in love.

Rejected, I sought answers from the Lord up above-

Who taught me forgiveness to heal my broken heart,

And who gave me the strength to forge a new start.

 

I may never know why I met a man such as he;

I may never know why he chose to set me free.

Deep in my heart, though, I’ll forever hold him dear,
This man that I love, and for whom I’ll always care.

           ~©2008 Michelle Antoinette James ~